Tuesday, October 16, 2007

8/20/1956 to 10/16/2007

We love you.

"In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you."

Monday, August 20, 2007

Bad times and better times

We began treating my cancer with two drugs; the infusions of Gemzar that we had already used, and 5FU, a new drug that is added to my TPN and is slowly delivered over a 24 hour period. At first, we were using a full dose (400mg) every day. that lasted for about two weeks until I grew so weak and depressed that I could no longer tolerate it. I began asking Cindy to lessen the dose to half and then finally to stop the drug altogether. Once the 5FU was stopped I began to regain my strength and my spirits improved.

We met with Doctor McElveen and we agreed that I should restart the 5FU, but just half a dose and do it every-other-day instead of every day.

We restarted the half dose (200mg) in my TPN bag again this past Friday evening. I was awaken Saturday morning at 3:00am with pain and nausea so bad that all I could do is sit up in bed and cry. Cindy got up and got me a Fentanyl patch and a Zopherin and was finally able to get back to sleep. Most of the pain was gone when the alarm clock went off later that morning, but I had pain and fatigue all that day. I am glad that it was only half a dose and that I don't have to do it every day!

My neighbor and fellow cancer fighter, Wayne Whitten died this past Friday afternoon. I will miss him very much, but am glad that his battles are now over and that he is at peace. His funeral service is this afternoon. We will attend that and then rush over to Oak Grove Elementary School to meet Lydia's 5K Teacher and some of her new classmates. Lydia is so excited about going to the "Big School". It is neat that Cindy, David (my oldest son), Jennifer (my oldest daughter) and Lydia will all attend Oak Grove Elementary School.

Well, that is all for now. I am doing much better now and am looking forward to cooler weather. Once we get back to nothing over 90 I will try to get out and go golfing. I think I could shoot 9 holes right now!

If any of my readers has dealt with 5FU I would very much like to hear from you about your experiences with that drug. I have had extremely dry skin on both hands, fatigue, body aches and nausea. Please let me know if you have had similar effects.

Your brother in Christ,
Mack

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Lots of catching up to do

My ERCP demonstrated a gastric outlet obstruction. This explains why nothing was going through and why I was now dependant upon TPN infusions to supply me with nutrition. I was then directed to make an appointment to see my surgeon to see if a gastric bypass could be done to permit food in the stomach to resume its passage through my small and large bowels. If the surgeon would find more cancer beyond the gastric obstruction then a gastric relief system ( a drainage tube inserted into my stomach and extending through my abdominal wall to the outside to handle buildup of fluids in my stomach. ) If I got the gastric relief system I would still be totally dependant on TPN for my nutrition and would only be allowed liquids by mouth. That would permit me to taste certain liquid food items such as V8 juice, tomato juice, Ice cream, and so on. The thickness of these liquids would fall within a range of water up to tomato soup. Water in abundance is necessary to keep my stomach flushed so that I keep it debrised of built up bile, surgical debris and the like. I met with Dr, Mirra on Thursday and my surgery was planned for the following Monday afternoon.

By midday the next day I had gotten so ill at home that I had to call Cindy at work and we got me admitted to Palmetto Health Baptist late in the afternoon that Friday. Upon arrival an NG tube was inserted and connected to suction. Within the first two minutes that two liter suction container was completely filled with a blackish colored liquid. At first, I thought that it contained blood, but when the nurse dabbed a small amount of this liquid on a white paper towel we could see that it was green tinted indicating that the liquid was an very condensed bile solution.

A second two liter container was connected and within an hour and a half it too was filled, but the color was beginning to lighten up some. When the third container was connected I was permitted to drink water and the drainage very quickly lightened and my general health was vastly improved. The third container lasted the rest of the evening and into the next day. I was kept in the hospital over the weekend continuing the suction therapy right up to my surgery Monday evening.

Sure enough, when Dr. Mirra opened my abdomen he found a vast number of small lesions scattered throughout my small bowel beyond the mass that now caused my gastric outlet obstruction. His surgery on me was now abbreviated to installing the gastric relief system and putting me back together.

My recover following this surgery was SO much easier than my first surgery that there is really no comparison whatsoever. I was up walking the entire post surgical unit in multiple laps on day two post surgery. On day three I walked to the elevator and dropped down to the second floor and I went by to see my friends in the Cath Lab. I received comments from my surgeon and the nursing staff that they had never seen anyone recover so quickly from this type of surgery. I felt great! Once home I began doing choirs as I as able (probably more than I should have). I would begin to pay for this in the days that followed.

My incision runs along the same incision that was previously done back in last November, but only along the left half of that line. The line is stapled closed, and the gastric relief tube leaves through a hole below that line about an inch and a half lower than the line. The line is very clean, but is slightly swollen; more so in one area and less in others. The hole that the gastric relief system extends through is just slightly reddened and "weeps" a thick greenish tinted drainage. I wash these sites with Hydrogen Peroxide several times a day,. I also wipe the site clean with alcohol "prep" pads and then dress the site around the tubing with Triple Antibiotic ointment and sterile gauze that allows the drainage to be wicked away while protecting the antibiotic ointment to remain at the site.

Tomorrow, I go to see Dr. Mirra to have the staples removed, the site examined and to get clearance from the surgeon for the oncologist to resume my chemotherapy. This too has now bee enhanced; in addition to the weekly infusion of the Gemzar will be a continuous infusion, 24 hours a day, seven days a week of a drug called 5fu. The Gemzar is the focused drug to fight the pancreatic cancer, while 5fu is designed to handle those lesions that were found beyond that pancreatic mass. The hope is that by stepping up the Gemzar infusions to it's maximum dosage and adding in the 5fu that we can arrest these lesions or, if God is willing, to reverse their growth. If the later is accomplished I might be able to extend my life out and perhaps be a five-year survivor. If we simply arrest the cancer I still might make it out to five years ( I am now just over a one year survivor, placing me in a fortunate 3-4% group.

In all of this, I cling to the Word of God found in Matthew 6:25-34
Here Jesus says, 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Or Romans 8:28 28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Please note that Paul did not add an asterisk indicating a caveat clause that excludes certain things such as cancer, but even these things are done for the good of those who love him. As a true believer in the Almighty God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I trust that even this is being done to benefit me and those around me. For me, this is my mantra and much more than that. For I know that the true prize is already secured for me. I know that I am a co-heir with Christ; called to him through God's eternal Word, joined to him in Baptism, and strengthened by him in Holy Communion. With all of these blessings I know that come what may in this life that I am already fully firmly at home in my next life - an eternal life in the wedding party of Christ to His bride, the Holy Christian Church, and nothing can shake me from that. Amen!

That's all for now. Your brother in Christ,

Mack



Monday, June 25, 2007

The good, the bad and the ugly

Over the last few weeks I have suffered with a stomach virus, which I believe, set me up for a bout with pancretitis. The pancretitis hit me about a week ago and has progressively worsened to the point that I have missed a few days from work. Most notably, last Friday when I was to host the most important meeting for our Cath Lab at PHB. Dr, Harrison took over my role and the meeting proceeded as planned, but I truly wish that I could have been there. While the meeting went on I was in the Emergency Room being treated with IV fluids, pain medicine, muscle relaxers and the like. I have not eaten a "meal" since last Thursday. Part of the treatment is to avoid food for a few days and allow the stomach and pancreas to heal.

While in the ER a CT scan of my abdomen was obtained which demonstrated that the mass that was seen on a CT scan done back in January which measured 1.6cm x 1.5cm was still there. This was missed on the MRI scan done in April. I cannot deny that this finding has diminished my joy that I felt when we thought that the cancer was gone. I do still revel in the fact that the cancer has not grown any since January. I thank God for this and ask for His strength as I continue to battle the cancer and pancretitis that now wrecks havoc on my life.

Tomorrow I am to meet with the GI Doc and discuss doing a ERCP to directly visualize the Villi which were the first indication that I had a problem. Now with the diagnosis from the CT scan I will have a different perspective on what will be shown on the ERCP. I was so hoping to find that my cancer was all but gone and my chemo treatments would soon be at an end. I now know that this is not to be. Still, I know that God is with me. I have nothing to fear. All will turn out as it should.

Keep me in your prayers. The war is not over.
Your brother in Christ,
Mack

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Back to work!

I started back to work on May 21st. The day began with my moving pretty slowly. I had been away for so long that I had to recondition myself to getting around that early. Plus, the Sunday before I had experienced an episode of weakness and fatigue that sent me home from Church. Tuesday was much easier.

I just got home from seeing the Nurse Practitioner at SCOA. My blood work was all normal and I am scheduled to begin another set of three chemo treatments next Tuesday. I asked her if I was one of the happy 4 percent that will enjoy as a five year survivor, but she said it would be to early to tell now. Ask her again in five years. I should have guessed that would have been her answer, but I do believe that I may very well be one of those folks!

I cannot begin to thank everyone for all of your prayers and acts of kindness. Going back to work and rejoining my friends has been the culmination of many of these prayers.

I will continue to add to this blog, but will likely be fewer and further between since my reports are so good. Unless my cancer "turns tiger" I doubt that I will face very many challenges to speak of. This is so unbelievable I just cannot say!

Your brother in Christ,
Mack

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Back from camping trip

We have returned from our camping trip to Mt. Pleasant, SC. There is a KOA there that Cindy and I enjoy going to. It is about 3 miles from the Isle of Palms, so the beach is close by. On this trip we never got to the beach. We got there Friday afternoon and got the camper set up. Afterwards, we drove to Shem Creek for supper. We got a table on the porch facing the creek at R.B.'s. As we were being seated we noticed that dolphins were swimming around in the creek as well as pelicans. Lydia loved watching those and the boats motoring in and out of the creek.

We got back and got settled down for sleep. It took Austin a little while to settle down in his playpen we setup next to Lydia's bed at the rear of the camper. Cindy and my bed is a Pop-Out at the front. We had deliberately left this "un-Popped" until we got back from supper so that the air conditioner could easily handle to load of the warmth of the Friday afternoon air.

I had noticed a IHOP on our way back from supper and planned to return to it for breakfast on Saturday. We then made a quick trip to Target for some supplies before getting back to enjoy the pool at the KOA. While Cindy and Lydia went to the pool Austin and I took a quick nap. Once Austin woke up, we went to Jack's Cosmic Dogs for lunch. Then it was back to the KOA and running around the Playground until supper time. Supper was lunch meats and Cheetos.

Sunday we got up and got ready for Church. Our home congregation is Hope Lutheran Church in Irmo, SC. Pastor Jason Zahn's wife, Jesse has a brother who is the Pastor of Beautiful Savior Lutheran Church in Summerville, SC. We attended service there on Sunday. Pastor Jon Hine delivered the Invocation and readings while the Vicar delivered the sermon. After service we went to Ruby Tuesdays for lunch. Then it was back to the KOA for more swimming and time at the Playground. The weather gave us a bit of consternation as a brief storm blew in. We took down our awning and huddled together in the camper reading children's books until it blew over.

After waking on Monday and eating a quick breakfast in the camper we began unhooking our camper and preparing for the two hour drive back home. I am so happy that our kids travel so well. The trip back was uneventful...Thank God.

We got home and called our folks to let them know we were back safe and sound. I noticed that the grass needed mowing and took care of that while Cindy took the kids down to a local playground. I thought that was a great segway for the kids back to "regular" life back home.

I thank God that he has given me the strength to enjoy trips like this as I continue the fight against my cancer. I have lost a few pounds and hope to gain them and a few more back. I will need them as I prepare to return back to work next Monday. I pray that God gives me strength and clarity of mind to discharge the duties of my job. Today I go in for another chemo treatment. I pray that these treatments continue to receive God's blessings and prove to be effective against the cancer in my pancreas, and that it does not spread to any other part of my body. If it is God's will, I pray that my cancer completely disappears and that I can resume a normal life once more.

Continue to pray for Susannah Zahn, the daughter of Pastor and Jesse Zahn. Pray that her Doctors are lead to a diagnosis and a treatment for her condition. Pray also for my Father-in-law, Don Laag. Pray that his PSA is lower than 2, and that his prostate cancer does not return. Pray also for Wayne Whitten, that his cancer treatments are able to control his liver cancer and that his general health returns. Pray that all of us are given an extra measure of the Holy Spirit, that our trust in God for all things is made strong and sure. May we always trust that God is doing ALL things for our good as His Word confirms as in Romans 8:28. Know that I also pray for all of you, that you continue to show yourselves to be Christ's disciples by loving one another. I thank God that the main lesson I have learned through this experience is that God IS love. I pray too that I have the opportunity to share that love with others in need.

That is all I have for now. I will make a new post after my first day back to work next week.

Yor brother in Christ,
Mack

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Back to chemo, etc

After a two week vacation from chemo I have begun another three week session. During the time off I noted less pain, more energy and overall better spirits. Now that I am two days past my session the pain has returned, I feel less energetic and pretty much blah. In other words, nothing new.

I got my letter of medical release to return to work from Dr. McElveen and turned it in to Bob Cook. Bob was ecstatic to say the least. I am looking forward to getting back to work, too. It has been so long since I have used the gifts that God has given me, and I pray that I will do as well as I had done prior to my surgery.

Cindy and I have a brief vacation trip planned to Mt. Pleasant where we go to our favorite KOA. Afterwards, David and Carrie will be in town. This is great because we have a lot of work to do for Ionosoft's upcoming release of our cardiology reporting tool, Visual Cath Report in the near future. This is a project that we have been working on for the last four years. All of us at Ionosoft are looking forward to a successful release of our software.

There are a lot of fantastic things going on in my life. I thank God that He has restored my health to be a part of what lies ahead. My youngest kids are growing up so fast! Lydia will begin 5K this Fall. Austin is walking and trying so hard to talk. My two older kids lives are also very dynamic. Ionosoft is a company that is made up of Dr. Rodney Harrison, my son David and myself. My eldest daughter, Jennifer, is a fine mother and wife and a hard worker; both in her home and at her career. I am SO proud of all of them. I am most proud of my wife, Cindy. She has stood beside me in this difficult time without hesitation and is my pillar of strength. I know that I have not always shown my thanks to Cindy and haven't always been the most agreeable person to deal with. I am blessed way beyond my wildest dreams.

Please continue to pray for Suzannah Zahn. Her condition is still not defined and continues to be a problem for her. I pray that the Doctors will soon have a working diagnosis and effective treatment, and that the Holy Spirit continue to strengthen and console her parents.

More later. I'll make another post after our camping trip.

Your brother in Christ,
Mack