Monday, June 25, 2007

The good, the bad and the ugly

Over the last few weeks I have suffered with a stomach virus, which I believe, set me up for a bout with pancretitis. The pancretitis hit me about a week ago and has progressively worsened to the point that I have missed a few days from work. Most notably, last Friday when I was to host the most important meeting for our Cath Lab at PHB. Dr, Harrison took over my role and the meeting proceeded as planned, but I truly wish that I could have been there. While the meeting went on I was in the Emergency Room being treated with IV fluids, pain medicine, muscle relaxers and the like. I have not eaten a "meal" since last Thursday. Part of the treatment is to avoid food for a few days and allow the stomach and pancreas to heal.

While in the ER a CT scan of my abdomen was obtained which demonstrated that the mass that was seen on a CT scan done back in January which measured 1.6cm x 1.5cm was still there. This was missed on the MRI scan done in April. I cannot deny that this finding has diminished my joy that I felt when we thought that the cancer was gone. I do still revel in the fact that the cancer has not grown any since January. I thank God for this and ask for His strength as I continue to battle the cancer and pancretitis that now wrecks havoc on my life.

Tomorrow I am to meet with the GI Doc and discuss doing a ERCP to directly visualize the Villi which were the first indication that I had a problem. Now with the diagnosis from the CT scan I will have a different perspective on what will be shown on the ERCP. I was so hoping to find that my cancer was all but gone and my chemo treatments would soon be at an end. I now know that this is not to be. Still, I know that God is with me. I have nothing to fear. All will turn out as it should.

Keep me in your prayers. The war is not over.
Your brother in Christ,
Mack

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Back to work!

I started back to work on May 21st. The day began with my moving pretty slowly. I had been away for so long that I had to recondition myself to getting around that early. Plus, the Sunday before I had experienced an episode of weakness and fatigue that sent me home from Church. Tuesday was much easier.

I just got home from seeing the Nurse Practitioner at SCOA. My blood work was all normal and I am scheduled to begin another set of three chemo treatments next Tuesday. I asked her if I was one of the happy 4 percent that will enjoy as a five year survivor, but she said it would be to early to tell now. Ask her again in five years. I should have guessed that would have been her answer, but I do believe that I may very well be one of those folks!

I cannot begin to thank everyone for all of your prayers and acts of kindness. Going back to work and rejoining my friends has been the culmination of many of these prayers.

I will continue to add to this blog, but will likely be fewer and further between since my reports are so good. Unless my cancer "turns tiger" I doubt that I will face very many challenges to speak of. This is so unbelievable I just cannot say!

Your brother in Christ,
Mack

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Back from camping trip

We have returned from our camping trip to Mt. Pleasant, SC. There is a KOA there that Cindy and I enjoy going to. It is about 3 miles from the Isle of Palms, so the beach is close by. On this trip we never got to the beach. We got there Friday afternoon and got the camper set up. Afterwards, we drove to Shem Creek for supper. We got a table on the porch facing the creek at R.B.'s. As we were being seated we noticed that dolphins were swimming around in the creek as well as pelicans. Lydia loved watching those and the boats motoring in and out of the creek.

We got back and got settled down for sleep. It took Austin a little while to settle down in his playpen we setup next to Lydia's bed at the rear of the camper. Cindy and my bed is a Pop-Out at the front. We had deliberately left this "un-Popped" until we got back from supper so that the air conditioner could easily handle to load of the warmth of the Friday afternoon air.

I had noticed a IHOP on our way back from supper and planned to return to it for breakfast on Saturday. We then made a quick trip to Target for some supplies before getting back to enjoy the pool at the KOA. While Cindy and Lydia went to the pool Austin and I took a quick nap. Once Austin woke up, we went to Jack's Cosmic Dogs for lunch. Then it was back to the KOA and running around the Playground until supper time. Supper was lunch meats and Cheetos.

Sunday we got up and got ready for Church. Our home congregation is Hope Lutheran Church in Irmo, SC. Pastor Jason Zahn's wife, Jesse has a brother who is the Pastor of Beautiful Savior Lutheran Church in Summerville, SC. We attended service there on Sunday. Pastor Jon Hine delivered the Invocation and readings while the Vicar delivered the sermon. After service we went to Ruby Tuesdays for lunch. Then it was back to the KOA for more swimming and time at the Playground. The weather gave us a bit of consternation as a brief storm blew in. We took down our awning and huddled together in the camper reading children's books until it blew over.

After waking on Monday and eating a quick breakfast in the camper we began unhooking our camper and preparing for the two hour drive back home. I am so happy that our kids travel so well. The trip back was uneventful...Thank God.

We got home and called our folks to let them know we were back safe and sound. I noticed that the grass needed mowing and took care of that while Cindy took the kids down to a local playground. I thought that was a great segway for the kids back to "regular" life back home.

I thank God that he has given me the strength to enjoy trips like this as I continue the fight against my cancer. I have lost a few pounds and hope to gain them and a few more back. I will need them as I prepare to return back to work next Monday. I pray that God gives me strength and clarity of mind to discharge the duties of my job. Today I go in for another chemo treatment. I pray that these treatments continue to receive God's blessings and prove to be effective against the cancer in my pancreas, and that it does not spread to any other part of my body. If it is God's will, I pray that my cancer completely disappears and that I can resume a normal life once more.

Continue to pray for Susannah Zahn, the daughter of Pastor and Jesse Zahn. Pray that her Doctors are lead to a diagnosis and a treatment for her condition. Pray also for my Father-in-law, Don Laag. Pray that his PSA is lower than 2, and that his prostate cancer does not return. Pray also for Wayne Whitten, that his cancer treatments are able to control his liver cancer and that his general health returns. Pray that all of us are given an extra measure of the Holy Spirit, that our trust in God for all things is made strong and sure. May we always trust that God is doing ALL things for our good as His Word confirms as in Romans 8:28. Know that I also pray for all of you, that you continue to show yourselves to be Christ's disciples by loving one another. I thank God that the main lesson I have learned through this experience is that God IS love. I pray too that I have the opportunity to share that love with others in need.

That is all I have for now. I will make a new post after my first day back to work next week.

Yor brother in Christ,
Mack

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Back to chemo, etc

After a two week vacation from chemo I have begun another three week session. During the time off I noted less pain, more energy and overall better spirits. Now that I am two days past my session the pain has returned, I feel less energetic and pretty much blah. In other words, nothing new.

I got my letter of medical release to return to work from Dr. McElveen and turned it in to Bob Cook. Bob was ecstatic to say the least. I am looking forward to getting back to work, too. It has been so long since I have used the gifts that God has given me, and I pray that I will do as well as I had done prior to my surgery.

Cindy and I have a brief vacation trip planned to Mt. Pleasant where we go to our favorite KOA. Afterwards, David and Carrie will be in town. This is great because we have a lot of work to do for Ionosoft's upcoming release of our cardiology reporting tool, Visual Cath Report in the near future. This is a project that we have been working on for the last four years. All of us at Ionosoft are looking forward to a successful release of our software.

There are a lot of fantastic things going on in my life. I thank God that He has restored my health to be a part of what lies ahead. My youngest kids are growing up so fast! Lydia will begin 5K this Fall. Austin is walking and trying so hard to talk. My two older kids lives are also very dynamic. Ionosoft is a company that is made up of Dr. Rodney Harrison, my son David and myself. My eldest daughter, Jennifer, is a fine mother and wife and a hard worker; both in her home and at her career. I am SO proud of all of them. I am most proud of my wife, Cindy. She has stood beside me in this difficult time without hesitation and is my pillar of strength. I know that I have not always shown my thanks to Cindy and haven't always been the most agreeable person to deal with. I am blessed way beyond my wildest dreams.

Please continue to pray for Suzannah Zahn. Her condition is still not defined and continues to be a problem for her. I pray that the Doctors will soon have a working diagnosis and effective treatment, and that the Holy Spirit continue to strengthen and console her parents.

More later. I'll make another post after our camping trip.

Your brother in Christ,
Mack

Thursday, April 26, 2007

More great news!

I am now covered by Cindy's insurance, Cigna. I can now continue my chemo treatments scheduled on May 1st. I'd like to send out my thanks to Jason Smith at PHB HR for his help in getting the certificates of insurability from ManageMed.

I am also headed back to work at PHB on May 20th. Thank you, Bob, for your confidence in me. I have been looking forward to this for a long, long time. I praise God for the healing that He has caused in me. The Doctors treat me, but it is God who heals me.

Recently, I took the opportunity of reading my own posts. I took note of the times that, due to the pain medications I take, so many words were misspelled. It also shook my memories of those times; the pain, the frequent trips to the Emergency Room and subsequent admissions, the fear that I might not live but a few more days, weeks or months. I now look back in grateful thanks to God for giving me the chance to continue my life. I also look forward to the day yet ahead that I will be taken to live in eternal glory with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Not because I deserve it, but because God loves me, and has sent His Son to be the perfect sacrifice for sin, even mine, which are the worst. If God has done that, what else can He do? Thank God that he has healed me.

I will continue to have chemo treatments for many more months, but I am certain that the grace of God and my continued improvement will help me through the rough spots. Chemo is tough. Nausea, pain, weakness, increased emotions and fatigue all play a part of these treatments. For what is gained I feel it is all worth it.

I know I don't have to ask, and I know that I will continue to be prayed for. Please also remember to pray for Wayne Whitten, my neighbor and fellow cancer fighter, for Tonja, Cindy's work freind who is taking chemo prior to her surgery, and for all who battle cancer in its varied forms. I also pray for Cindy, who has been tireless and strong throughout these times. I pray that she remains strong and that the Holy Spirit grants her an extra measure of hope that all is done for the benefit of those who love God.

That's all I have for now. I am so happy that I will be returning back to work and that my chemo treatments will continue with the benefit of insurnace coverage. I will continue to post the new chapters of my life here as they emerge.

Your brother in Christ,
Mack

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Great news!

I got the good news from my scans yesterday. My cancer has not spread to any other organs, and is smaller now than before. In fact, the MRI had "great difficulty in determining any mass or lesion." The visual acuity of the MRI is about 3 millimeters. Therefore my cancer is that small or smaller. The scan went on to say that all is not normal, but now knowing that it has not spread and has responded well to the chemo treatments is fantastic news! I was told that I could return to work in Mid-May. I called Bob Cook, my director and let him know. Now we'll wait and see. I trust that God will provide for me the best answer for a way for me to provide for my family. Dr. McElveen felt that the extra time out would be helpful to me as I continue to build my endurance up.

We are now up in Ohio at Shorty and Alan's house. Thanks for the use of the PC, Alan! We had a great trip up. Both kids travel very well! We got in after midnight, but Lydia was so wound up that she had a hard time getting to sleep. So did I, but for different reasons. We'll head back to town on Monday. I was scheduled for a chemo visit on Tuesday, but due to the changing of my insurance, I decided to reschedule that set of three visits to begin on May 1st. I am hoping that the extra week will allow for the paperwork to be processed at Cigna and my trip will be covered.

Once I have more news about work and/or insurance I'll make another post to this blog. I want to thank everyone for all of your prayers lifted up in my name. I also thank God for giving us a foretaste of heaven by graciously answering our prayers with a loud, "Yes!". I am so joyful of this good news and feel charged (both energized and brought to a level of responsibility) to go head strong forward with the rest of my life. God has opened His hand of grace and permitted me to continue to live. Now I must live it to the fullness that I am able. There are great things I can accomplish, both career wise and personal wise. Leading my children in the paths of righteousness is one of those, and by far the greatest. I thank God that He has agreed to let me do just that.

Thank you all again, and again!

Your brother in Christ,
Mack

Friday, April 13, 2007

Separation - Continued

Today I spoke with Jason Smith in HR at Palmetto Health Baptist. He gave me a lot of good information and all is not as bad as I thought it could be. My health insurance expires on April 21st, so my scans that will be done on Monday the 16th and my next Doctor's visit on the 20th will all be covered. The question is, my next chemo visit is scheduled for the 24th of April; will I have coverage from Cindy's insurance for that visit? At $3,600/visit we would soon run through our savings. I pray that the transition will go smoothly.

We get to keep our account with the Credit Union at work. I am SO happy about that. Those folks do an excellent job and all of our finacial stuff is wrapped up with them. If we would have had to get new accounts and move our loans we'd be in very bad shape.

My disability payments are to transition to full disability now that I am six months out. I am also eligible for Social Security payments and Medicare coverage if I draw Social Security. I will decide whether to act on this after meeting with Dr. McElveen on the 20th. Since the information I will have from that visit will impact so many things I just have to wait and see. Likewise, I have money in my retirement account that I might get to use, but only if the word from the Doctor is that my cancer is still not cured and I will require months more treatment, or that my cancer has not responded to treatment and that I have only several months left to live would I then get those funds.

So many unsure things spinning around, but I find my rock and my anchor in the Lord. I am calm and certain that all of this will sort itself out. There is still a fairly good chance that I could return to work in a few weeks. All of this I leave to God to determine and I trust in Him.

I will let you all know more after my Doctor's visit on the 20th. We are headed up to visit with Alan and Shorty on the 20th as soon as we get out of the Doctor's office, so the post will be made from their house on the 21st. Keep me in your prayers and trust that God will give the answer that is best.

Your brother in Christ,
Mack